You're NOT an Alcoholic If ...

1. You don't understand the concept of a 6-pack (isn't one enough?).
2. You question the concept of "Happy Hour" - who would be in a bar for a whole hour?
   
3. You immediately stop drinking when you start to "feel it".
4. You have ever left an alcoholic beverage unconsumed for any reason
5. You have no booze in your home, and that's not because you already drank it all
6. After any sip of an alcoholic beverage, you have ever uttered the phrase "Whoa, this is too strong!"
7. You're not sure where your neighborhood liquor store is.
8. You especially look forward to events that are alcohol-free - no idiot drunks around!
9. You purchase wine for cooking purposes, and you actually do cook with it.
10. On second thought, you do have some alcohol in your home: a bottle of something someone gave you for Christmas, which is still unopened, and now covered in a layer of dust. You totally forgot about that thing! Maybe you can re-gift it to someone this year.